My autistic son shows empathy
My autistic son shows empathy.
It is a good thing but tough for our kids
One night when my autistic son was eight, he finally reached a milestone.
I was cleaning around a sink when I accidentally hit my thumb. It hurt and I said, “Ouch.” I shook my finger and then the pain went away. Not a big deal at all, really.
My son was standing next to me and said, “Sorry, Mommy.”
I said to him, “It’s okay, buddy. I just banged my thumb. It hurt for a moment. It’s gone now.”
Then, my child said, “I feel sorry for you, Mommy.”
BAM! Hit me over the head! How cool! My autistic son shows empathy!
At age 8, my autistic son barely showed empathy.
Music to my ears.
I thanked him for saying that to me. I told him it was a very nice thing to say to someone as well how appropriate it was that he had noticed in the first place.
Why is empathy hard for our kids?
Empathy is noticing something in yourself that you also notice in others. It’s a tough concept for our special needs kids.
Why?
First, they’re not looking at you as often as typical children.
Second, they miss social cues.
Third, social cues must be learned. For example, many kids will laugh when someone falls down and scraps their knee. So, in that case, the did react, they just reacted inappropriately.
Give it some time. It takes practice and it takes you continually pointing out, “Hey, buddy, that child hurt his knee. It feels badly right now and laughing at him is not making him feel better.”
This was a breakthrough moment for us. So great.
You can find some teaching strategies here:
