Religious services and autistic kids.

We are not overly religious, but my husband’s family has a Passover Seder dinner every year. The dinner itself is (of course) a religious event, but it is also a tradition my husband’s family has done for approximately 40 years. They have had Passover dinner with another family for that long. And, both families want to continue the tradition.

My feelings on religious services and autistic kids.

Our child is the youngest in the group. For many years now, he has been the only child at the service, which meant he was the only child searching for the “hidden  matzah” (the afikoman). It wasn’t ever much of a challenge.

When he was old enough, he also took on another Seder tradition which is the reading of the four questions.

How did we prepare him for this and how do I feel about religious services and autistic kids?

First, we printed the questions at home before the Passover Seder dinner so my child could practice reading them.

Second, we know that Passover dinner is long. It has always hard for our child to sit still for that long. His “engine” begins to “run high” after sitting for a while.

Third, we have tried hard over the years to teach our child to try to sit through the entire service. We have not allowed him to take many breaks. We were teaching him to participate. If we had spent the last few years always excusing him, we felt we would be teaching him the wrong thing.

Fourth, we gave him timelines as to when he needed to be ready to read the four questions. When it was time, he was ready.

How did it go?

Our child did well that very first time, and every time after.

He even seemed interested in the questions. The Jewish Seder is supposed to be a learning experience, which is why participation from children is encouraged.

If a religious experience is a part of your family, go ahead and incorporate your autistic child into the family’s religious events. Be aware that there may be challenges for your child. Religious services tend to be long, and boring for children.

It is important to help your child along with their religious instruction. It’s important to you. Hopefully along the way they learn why they’re attending a long service and how they’re expected to try to get through it.

If you want to read up on a POV of religion and autism, check this out:

http://www.livescience.com/20654-autism-belief-god.html