An Autism Mom’s Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day

My child is fourteen, so I have banked a few Mothers Days. Having a teenager on the brink of high school, however, is making me quite terrified and grateful this time around. He’s growing up into such a delightful, intelligent, and charming individual, autism aside.

Right around the corner is adulthood.

Adulthood

That terrifies me, and makes me look back at all of the years.

I guess what I’m thinking about this time around is that Mother’s Day isn’t really about autism.

What is it about this time?

I am the mother of a child with autism, but all mothers of children with autism get to be just mothers today, don’t we?

We still love, adore, and cherish our kids, just like typical moms.

We still love our own mothers, just like typical moms.

It’s great to have this day be special in some way, just like typical moms.

We still melt inside when our kid(s) say, “Happy Mother’s Day,” just like typical moms.

We still love at our kids and inside, quietly say, “Wow, look at what I did. How cool is that,” just like typical moms.

When we have to, we pick our battles for the benefit of our kid(s), just like typical moms.

We still have to left some things go, and teach our kid(s) why, just like typical moms.

We still take our kids to playdates, soccer games, baseball games, swimming, and many other activities, just like typical moms.

We’re all moms

Just like typical moms, listening to our kids is important.

We still (often begrudgingly) have to enforce rules or corrections to our kid(s), knowing this will sometimes take energy that we may not have, just like typical moms.

We still have to ask the question, “How was school today?” just like typical moms (and get a typical fourteen-year-old’s answer of “Fine,” or “Good,” or “Okay.” One word answers with no details.)

There’s homework, which we check, just like typical moms.

And, there’s a limit to device time, just like typical moms have to impose.

We still have to make sure the kid(s) understands how important good hygiene is, just like typical moms.

When we look at our kids, we see a part of ourselves look back at us, just like typical moms.

We still worry during many a sleepless night, just like typical moms.

Independence

Then, there’s letting them go. We have to find a way to let them go, let them have their independence, just like typical moms.

We still have to hold them if/when they’re scared, sick, or they just need it. Or, know when to hug or rub their backs, just to show them we’re there. There are the things in life that are not so pleasant, and we have to explain those things. Just like typical moms, we’re ready to handle all of it.

And, we’re still so deeply proud of who they are and who they’re morphing into, that we do have to occasionally take a little bit of credit for that, just like typical moms.

So, kudos to all the moms out there—moms of children with autism or special needs and moms of typical kids. All moms. We all did this amazing thing…we brought a new life into the world.

The responsibilities for that new life may vary, but they are gigantic and complicated and beautiful. Sometimes, autism moms are just like typical moms. No difference at all. We’re just moms.

Today, Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Moms out there. An Autism Mom’s Mother’s Day

Here’s a sweet article about autism and Mother’s Day:

http://www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/autism-and-mothers-day-tradition-2347892

Published by Kimberly Kaplan

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