Long Vacations and Autism – Part Two

Why we vacation

We’ve never missed a year without a vacation all the time my husband and I have been together. Even when our son arrived.

We always went somewhere, even a quick trip two hours away for a weekend.

What did we do recently?

This summer, we took our son on a 28-day vacation.

Here’s how it went.

My husband and I rented a car and drove across the country in six days. The three of us spent five days in New York City, and then my husband flew home.

My son and I continued onward. We visited various places in the East Coast; Atlantic City, Washington, D.C., Vermont, Rochester, New York (my hometown).

We ended up in Maine and flew out of Boston 27 days after we left California.

It ended up as eleven days with the three of us, sixteen days with just me and my son.

How did it go?

We’re veteran vacationers. As I stated in my previous blog, my husband and I never shied away from a vacation just because our son had autism.

It was a challenge, at times. But, we got through each and every trip.

Overall, I felt the trip went well. I was happy to spend time with my husband and son for part of the trip. After that, just me and my son for over two weeks.

The challenges

My son did not go completely without meltdowns or near-meltdowns.

He is twelve and still has a tendency to generate negative behaviors over non-preferred topics and/or situations.

During a vacation, he’s out of his normal routine. In addition, he certainly doesn’t eat as well as he does when he’s home.

How we dealt

My son and I had our moments.

For the most part, we talked our way out of any bad times.

A few times, my son had to work a bit to avoid a meltdown. This is a challenge for him. He’s working on it.

Our worst moment

The worse one was in NYC. 

Wisely, my husband recognized that this challenge had escalated between me and my son, so he stepped in and took over for a few very vital minutes.

He managed to calm our son down.

On my own

For sixteen days, I had to figure out how to deal with my son all on my own.

I thought I was up to the challenge.

In regards to my son, at times I find him frustrating, at other times I find him amazing. Overall, I know what makes him tick.

My challenge is I have to remind myself that he’s twelve, he has autism, and he’s not perfect.

Negotiate

I had to stand firm on the negotiation.

My son doesn’t take “no” for an answer. If it’s something that he has his heart set on, he will immediately start to fight the “no.”

He challenges us.

During the trip, we worked through several “moments,” and I’m happy to report that we had only one real falling out.

When talked it over, and reached an understanding. The rest of the trip went well.

Back to the negotiation

Negotiating. Isn’t not always easy and it’s often draining.

One thing that stands out to me were the times we had to stop to use a restroom.

At times I felt he requested a bathroom stop not because he actually had to go, but because he just wanted to get out of the car.

Calling him out

When I’d ask him about his real reason for wanting to stop, he claimed he did have to go to the bathroom again.

I was still skeptical. In addition, I told him it was okay if his body just needed to get out of the car for a bit. He felt he had to convince me that it was a need for the bathroom (even though we just stop twenty minutes earlier).

Overall

I’m pleased with this trip and happy we did it. We were in seventeen states, four time zones, Canada for half a day, and saw numerous friends and relatives.

My son met a bunch of dogs and he seemed to enjoy the experiences.

That’s what it’s all about for me, giving my son life experiences. Long Vacations and Autism – Part Two.

In my next blog, I’ll discuss how this long trip benefited my son—the highs, the proud moments, and the overall joyous times.

Here’s some information on “autism friendly” vacation spots:

http://www.familyvacationcritic.com/best-special-needs-vacation-spots/art/

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