Autism and Dating
Has my son been interested in dating?
Not too long ago, I asked him if he was interested in anyone. He said, “No, for the most part.”
I asked him to explain that last bit.
He said that he had an interest in a girl for a “really little bit,” but didn’t act on it. He decided he wasn’t really all that interested.
So, that was that.
Any other experiences?
One experience is that he does “like” a girl. I don’t think it’s gone past that, and I have no idea how she feels about my son.
I have asked him about her and he’s not ready to move forward, except talking to her at school.
I told him that’s fine.
I do know a kid who is my son’s age (and also on the autism spectrum) who dated a girl for a bit. Eventually, they broke up. I know the parents talked to him about it. They kept everything open.
I have talked to my son about his future. He said he wants to someday get married and have kids.
I’m all for taking it slow, though.
What happens if/when he has a date(s)?
Well, there is some things I’d like to explain to him. There are some “rules,” if you will to dating.
For example, my son has a tendency to be obsessive, so that would have to be kept in check. Try not to obsess. Try not to call the person 100 times a day.
Try to give that person some space. I’m assuming he’ll need it, too.
Again, nothing wrong with slow!
I kind of have to be a proponent of online dating, since that’s how I met my husband. But, there are rules there, too. Email a lot. Call. Meet at a neutral place.
Just take things slowly (yep, my preference).
And, then what happens if there’s a break up?
Break ups are hard. They hurt.
Rejection is hard.
I know a high school kid who liked a girl. He wrote her a longish note about how much he liked her. And, well, she rejected him. (He vowed to never date again. Rejection is hard!)
I want to talk to my child, be open with him, tell him that he can come to me with anything, and ask him the tough questions from time to time, that’s my plan with my son.
That’s the best I can do…for now.
Be there for him. Autism and dating can work together. And, I hope it does!
Autism and Dating
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